Sex with escort made me sick but now I want to go back for more

DEAR DEIDRE: SEX with an escort disgusted me but now I’m finding I want to go back for more.

I’m a single guy of 32 who’s never had a proper relationship with a woman, just a few flings.

But like most guys, I do sometimes need sex. So a couple of weeks ago, I arranged to meet an escort in a hotel.

We met in the bar and made awkward small talk over a glass of wine. I honestly didn’t find her very attractive – she was nothing like her pictures online – but I didn’t want to offend her by walking away.

Very soon, she suggested we go upstairs to the room I had booked.

I didn’t enjoy the encounter and it was clear she was just going through the motions. She couldn’t even be bothered to fake pleasure.

Afterwards, I went into the bathroom to shower and I thought I was going to be physically sick.

I felt so dirty and ashamed. But weirdly, I am now getting a strong urge to arrange to see her again.

I think there must be something wrong with me. What’s making me do this?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Paid-for sex is not going to lead to a loving, lasting relationship. It is simply a business transaction for her.

You ask where this behaviour stems from and it could be it has its roots in your past.

Perhaps you were neglected by your parents or suffered a bad experience and find it hard to trust women.

Maybe on some level you want to punish yourself because you don’t feel worthy of love.

Talking to someone impartial could help you. My support pack on Counselling explains more.

And my support pack on Finding The Love Of Your Life should help you meet and form lasting relationships with women.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My husband is difficult to live with and I worry he is autistic

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