‘My sex life with my ex was okay but she’s now a lesbian and I feel humiliated’

My ex has become a lesbian. Is it because of me?

She’s now living with a female ex-colleague and claims she’s never been happier.

People are gossiping and asking questions and I feel humiliated. I thought our sex life was okay. When she left, she claimed needed time on her own, so what changed?

READ MORE: 'My girlfriend runs a sex club at our house – I hate it but it brings in the money'

JANE SAYS I urge you to accept the current situation and move on.

Stop beating yourself up. The fact is that your relationship ended and now your ex-partner has gone on to find love with someone new. What difference does it make if her lover is a woman or a man? Concentrate on your own challenges and personal targets and ignore everyone else.

You don’t have to answer to friends and family or justify anything that has gone on.


The girl I adore was very badly hurt and let down by her ex. She says she likes me but won’t feel ready to have sex for at least a year. Must I go away and hope that she’ll have me back in 12 months?

I’m a decent guy. It’s frustrating that I’m being punished because her ex was a moron. My sister says I need to give her all the time she needs but my instinct is to make a bold move and prove that I’m different.

I’m thinking of booking a naughty weekend away and attempting to break the ice in an en-suite hot tub.

Would that work?

JANE SAYS I think wires have been crossed here. I suspect this girl wants you to be TOGETHER for a year before having sex. She’s not suggesting you go away and come back again. Clearly, she’s hoping that you’ll prove yourself to be trustworthy, solid, and dependable – everything that her ex was not. In essence she’s hoping to put you on trial.

Are you up for that? How committed are you?

As for booking a weekend away in an attempt to move things forward and seduce her; forget it. Read the room and listen to your sister. You can’t rush this.


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