DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter is morbidly obese, seems depressed and doesn’t look after herself at all. I’m worried sick.
Her mother left us ten years ago when she fell in love with a work colleague. Since then it’s been just me and my daughter. I’m 50 and she’s 23.
She went to university and got her degree but didn’t make many friends there.
She’s always been a comfort-eater. I’ve never been a great cook. I try my best, but when I suggest a healthy salad, she puts a pizza and chips in the oven.
She’s got a great job as a sales manager but comes home with big bags of crisps or takeaways.
When she’s not working, she’s in her room watching police documentaries.
She has terrible taste in men. Most of her “relationships” don’t get beyond the first date and she never hears from them again.
She definitely wants more but pretends she doesn’t care and that she wasn’t interested in them anyway.
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DEIDRE SAYS: She sounds depressed and probably has felt unhappy for a long time.
Her mother left at a really poignant time and that sense of abandonment must have felt overwhelming.
You’re always there but you’re not her mum.
Find a moment to talk to her and tell her how much you love her but you’re worried that she’s not fulfilled outside of work.
Tell her you’d like to spend time with her and see whether you could cook some healthy recipes together. My support pack Young Weight Worries is full of other tips to help.
You can get advice on helping her through youngminds.org.uk (0808 802 5544).
My support pack Finding The Right Partner For You will help her too.
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