‘Love Island reminds us rejection isn’t personal – it doesn’t decide your value’

In Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers now get to feel like they're watching TV's Love Island with her. She uses her knowledge to analyse the episodes so we can learn from the cast's triumphs and mistakes.

With over 200k Instagram followers, Lala is the anonymous voice helping womankind through every bump in the road. An established sex, dating and relationship educator, she’s had her fair share of relationship drama and shares her wisdom on social media to a loyal army of followers.

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"It’s the final countdown! Luca & Gemma, Davide & Ekin-Su, Indiyah & Dami, and Tasha & Andrew are our final four couples. Personally, I think Davide & Ekin should be crowned as the winners, they've made the show worth watching. Ekin is a hilarious drama queen and Davide is an unintentional joker, together they're comedy gold. Second place for me would be ‘Damiyah’. They seem to be a genuine couple and Indiyah is a phenomenally emotionally intelligent woman who appears to have done wonders for Dami’s ability to grow and mature.

If I’m really honest, I couldn’t be less interested in what order the cast comes out in, or who wins, I’m just extremely happy that it’s now over. It’s a long slog committing to watching the show and while it’s had its amazing moments, I’m over it now. But I have certainly been gripped several times during this season and this year, as always, LI has given us lots of talking points and good examples of terrible behaviour. Let’s have a look at Love Island 2022’s highs and lows!

Age Gaps

The internet went wild in the first week when we saw 27-year-old Davide coupled up with 19-year-old Gemma. It went wild again when her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend came in and we all realised that they'd been together when she was 16 and he was 20. It was good to see a negative public reaction to this. Age gaps when the younger person is still in their teens can be a red flag for control.

Insecurity and rejection

Insecurity and a fear of rejection have been at the heart of a lot of the issues that we've seen this year. Jacques had to leave the villa after his behaviour escalated to the point where it looked like he was going to fight with Adam. He was completely destroyed by his own ego. It led him to chase attention in Casa Amor and it prevented him from being able to apologise to Paige and take accountability for how he'd hurt her.

There were lots of issues around needing reassurance in the early weeks. Amber and Dami and Ikenna and Indiyah were all tormented by a need for the boys to be clearer about their feelings. Danica and Antigoni both faced rejection from men repeatedly until eventually Danica found someone who felt she was a match. Whilst it was horrible to watch two beautiful women not finding the right men, it was also a good reminder that rejection isn't personal and it doesn’t determine your value, it’s just a matter of meeting the right person.

Jealousy and Control

Luca has been plagued by jealousy and insecurity in his coupling with Gemma and it's led to him displaying controlling behaviour. He's reacted badly to Gemma receiving any male attention, even friendly chats, and has asked for Gemma not to speak to other men.

Gemma has very sensibly told him that he will push her away if he's needy and controlling, but many people wouldn’t. It's concerning to imagine how their relationship might look if Gemma was willing to submit to his demands.

Misogyny and sexism

We've seen a few examples of double standards in the villa fuelled by misogyny and sexism. Jay decided to couple with Paige against her will and put her in a very uncomfortable position with Jacques. The fact that he asked Jacques permission to try it on with her and not hers was wild.

Luca blamed Gemma for Billy flirting with her on the basis that ‘a man wouldn’t crack on with a woman if he didn’t think he stood a chance’. Billy told the boys about things that happened in the bedroom with Danica without her permission and when she raised it, he deflected and tone policed her rather than taking accountability.

We've also seen double standards around the boys’ reaction to the girls messing around with guys in Casa Amor and in the way that the girls are expected to dress for the hideaway compared to the boys. The girls coming down the stairs in lingerie to an audience while the boys shove on a pair of boxers and a vest is ridiculous.

Friendship

One of the highlights this season has been the friendships between the girls. They've boosted each other and supported each other when needed. Ekin-Su is great at being the Mum of the house. She gets excited when things go well for the other girls.

It was also nice to see the girls being real with each other about things like bum-crack hair removal (even though there should be no expectation for us to remove hair and the fact that the girls feel they have to, should sit in the misogyny section). It was good to see that they have the same insecurities that so many of us do.

Love

This year we've seen true love blossom in all four of our final couples. The boys have expressed it loud and clear and there’s been lots of green flag waving in the journey to falling in love. Andrew has been consistent (apart from a Casa blip) with his feelings for Tasha, Dami has changed his ways for Indiyah, and Davide has learnt to trust Ekin-Su. Let’s see how they fare outside of the villa!

So, until next year, that’s it! Let’s hope that ITV starts listening to Women’s Aid and at the very least start highlighting any red flag behaviours and providing support line numbers at the end of episodes that show concerning things. What have been your highlights of this season? Let us know in the comments please!"

  • My usual agony aunt column will return on Monday 15 August – if you would like me to help with a problem then please send your letters to [email protected]

READ MORE:

  • ‘Love Island women need reminding it’s not 1952, we don’t need to be wife material’

  • ‘Love Island’s Luca is too controlling – his movie night attitude was misogynistic

  • 'I’m glad Billy was booted out of Love Island – his behaviour was uncomfortable to watch'

  • Love Island winner Millie Court explains what prepping for the final is really like

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