I was nosing through teen daughter's diary and discovered she's been having sex with her cousin

DEAR DEIDRE: THOUGHT that nosing through my teenage daughter’s diary would be a bit of harmless fun.

I never expected to find out she’s been having sex with her cousin. She is 17 and I’m her 49-year-old mum.

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My partner left me when I was pregnant. As devastating as it was, it brought me and my sister together.

She was pregnant at the same time. Her husband was in the Army so would often be away.

We became each other’s rock, supporting one another through pregnancy. Once the kids were born we were closer than ever.

We lived in the same neighbourhood so our children could grow up together.

We encouraged them to spend lots of time together so they can have the friendship that we have.

Last week I decided to tidy my daughter’s bedroom while she was at school.

As I was cleaning under her bed, I found her diary.

I was expecting to discover nothing more than teenage gossip and drama.

But her latest entry rivalled Fifty Shades Of Grey. She wrote a detailed commentary on how she lost her virginity in a passionate love-making session with her cousin.

Apparently, she sneaked out to the park at night to meet him while I was fast asleep in bed.

I was nearly sick reading it. Who thinks it’s OK to have sex with their cousin?

But as appalled as I am, I don’t want my daughter to get in trouble.

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I’m sure it’s illegal. That’s why I haven’ spoken to anyone about their sordid little secret. I don’t want it to split up our family.

All this stress is making me ill. I’ve no idea what to do.

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DEIDRE SAYS:  You are understandably shocked by this discovery, but please pause and take a breath.

The last thing you should do is wade in and tell them to break it off.

This will only humiliate and shame them and would no doubt drive your daughter away.

Besides, she may resent you for reading her private diary.

And do consider that your daughter and her cousin may not be in a relationship. It could all be just a fantasy that she has created.

But assuming they are in a relationship, while not an ideal situation, what your daughter and her cousin are doing is not illegal.

In this country, it isn’t viewed as incest to marry your first cousin.

There isn’t even a significantly high risk of genetic abnormalities if they were to have children in the future.


Jimmy goes on a date after feeling inferior to Lucy

I won’t let my children out of my sight as I’m terrified of WW3 happening

Do talk to your daughter about safe sex, though, and let her know, that if she is starting to have intercourse, you want her to make informed choices.

My support pack Starting To Have Sex will help you talk to her.

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