DEAR DEIDRE: I USED to have the best sex life with my wife, with both quantity and quality.
But in the past couple of years it has nosedived.
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Instead of four or five times a week, I am lucky if we have sex once a month. I’m 53 and my wife is 49.
Intercourse hurts her now and I can’t put her through the pain.
She tries other ways to satisfy me but it’s not the same. I’m bored.
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She is most likely menopausal or perimenopausal, which is when hormonal changes can affect a woman’s libido and inhibit her natural lubrication.
Without this, sex can become very painful for a woman.
Talk to your wife and suggest she sees her GP.
She might be able to take HRT – that is hormone replacement therapy – which could help.
When you are having sex, take things slowly and focus on good foreplay to ensure she is comfortable.
A lot of couples do regain a fulfilling sex life after the menopause and I am sure you can too.
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