‘I slept with colleague at office Christmas party and feel terrible about it’

Dear Coleen,

This is a cliché, but I slept with a female colleague after our office Christmas party and now I feel terrible about it. I’m single, but she’s got a boyfriend who I’ve met a couple of times and he’s a nice guy.

I feel so guilty, plus I don’t know how it’s going to be back at work. I’ve had a few days off, as I’m working over the holidays, but I’m dreading facing her when we’re both in the office together.

Any advice other than don’t get drunk at the office do?

Coleen says

I’m pretty sure she just won’t want to acknowledge it happened. As you’ve pointed out, you’re single, so if you’re feeling guilty, imagine how she’s feeling!

She’s going to be feeling very bad and thinking about whether or not to admit what happened to her boyfriend, and what it all means for their relationship.

She might be worried that you’ll either tell her boyfriend or tell someone else and it’ll get back to him – or that you’ll want to start something up with her.

So you could allay her fears by just saying something like, “We were both drunk, so it’s OK to just forget about it and do our jobs”.

And don’t tell anyone else in the office – people are generally appalling at keeping secrets and it could get back to her boyfriend and make her feel uncomfortable at work.

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