I haven't had sex with my wife for eight years

DEAR DEIDRE: I WORK just to pay the bills and I no longer have any fun or intimacy in my life.

I no longer fancy my wife and we haven’t had sex for eight years, ever since our little girl was born.

I understood at the time, but she has never recovered her sex drive.

Every time I asked for sex she would turn me down, so now I don’t bother asking her any more.

I don’t want to be the instigator only to be rejected.

We argue over silly things but I think this is down to frustration.

She sits at home every evening messaging her mates on her phone.

It gets on my nerves. She is 32 and I’m 35.

DEIDRE SAYS: What a miserable picture you paint.

Tell your wife your marriage can’t last like this and the sour atmosphere must be grim for your little girl.

Insist you either work together to revive your rela­tion­ship and your sex life, or work on parting as peacefully as possible.

Relate counselling can help both of your (relate.org.uk) as will my e-leaflet Saving Your Sex Life.

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