I have lent my mum £12,000 and kept it secret from my girlfriend

DEIDRE SAYS: I’M trying to save up with my girlfriend to put a deposit on a house.

But my mum keeps asking for so much money that my savings are going down rather than up.


For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

  • Dear Deidre on Sex
  • Dear Deidre on Relationships
  • Dear Deidre on Marriage
  • Dear Deidre on Family
  • Dear Deidre on Parenting
  • Dear Deidre on Grief

My girlfriend doesn’t know, and she’s getting fed up with how long it’s taking.

She is suspicious of why I’m not ready to buy.

I live at home with my mum, who asks me every two or three months for money – at least £1,000, sometimes £1,500.

I’m 28 and she’s 54. I don’t understand why she needs so much.

I give her £700 a month for housekeeping and she has a part-time job.

When I question her, she fobs me off and tells me she’ll pay me back.

So far, she owes me over £12,000 and I don’t think I’ll ever see any of it again.

Get in touch in Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

Or private message us via the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

We change all personal details in our published stories to protect your identity.

DEIDRE SAYS: I understand why you are so frustrated.

The best policy is to be honest with your girlfriend, and let her know you are working on the problem.

Sit your mum down and explain you can’t continue without a greater under-standing of why she needs the funds.

Do you think she may have got herself into money problems?

Could she be gambling, for example? Don’t let her fob you off.

Be assertive so she understands this situation can’t continue.

I’m sending you my support pack on Standing Up For Yourself and another called Family Finances, which will help you both.

READ TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE We have not had sex for four years and my wife calls me a pervert just for suggesting it

READ DEIDRE'S NEW PHOTO CASEBOOK Chloe can't forgive dad Roger for cheating on her mum

GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us 

    Source: Read Full Article