Ex-partner's daughter is 19 and wants to sleep in my bed

DEAR DEIDRE: MY ex-partner’s daughter has forced her way into my life and I am uncomfortable with her expectations.

I am 55 and met her when she was 13. She is now 19. I like her but think she is confused. Plus, I am sure she is using me for money.


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My ex and I have one son, who I don’t see as much as I would like as he lives with her.

The irony is the child who isn’t mine opts to stay at my house the most.

Recently, she suggested when my son comes to stay, she could sleep in my bedroom with me, rather than sharing with him.

She even told me she would take my ex’s place at the dinner table as she is “the lady of the house now”.

She is always borrowing money and never repays it.

DEIDRE SAYS: She is still young and perhaps doesn’t understand the implication of her words.

You need to clearly spell out some ground rules so she understands your relationship.

Explain she can’t take her mum’s place at the table or in your bed.

With regards to the money, can you ask her to repay you in manageable instalments?

She does sound rather confused.

Suggest that she contact The Mix (themix.org.uk, 0808 808 4994) for support.

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