I have a three-month-old baby but refuse to share the childcare – my wife's a stay-at-home mom, it's divided opinion | The Sun

A COUPLE who are at loggerheads over the parenting of their three-month-old baby, is desperately seeking a solution to their current impasse.

The father, who is a full-time professional athlete, has taken to one of the Reddit forums hoping for some back-up and advice over his stay-at-home wife.

The best preparation in the world cannot match the reality of bringing a new baby home.

As the sole earner in their household, sleep is very important for him to continue to perform.

His wife, however, is sleep-deprived and is beginning to resent their pre-baby agreement.

He said: “Katie and I talked about this before trying for a kid, and I told her that I can’t compromise my sleep for anything short of an emergency.

“I specifically mentioned that I wouldn’t be waking up during the night to help with the baby, but we could hire a night nurse to help out.”

Despite this, his wife still thinks the arrangement is unfair and wants him to step up and help with their baby during the night.

He’s doing his best to understand her position but is adamant he needs his sleep to do his work well.

“I acknowledged that she has been working hard and not getting much sleep, but we also previously agreed to this arrangement.”

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His wife is well-provided for during the daylight hours, with a maid, a laundry service, and a meal delivery service.

It is night-time care that is the sticking point, but Katies refuses to hire a night nurse, a stranger to her baby.

“So we’ve been at an impasse,” he said. “She still doesn’t want to hire help, and I’m still not waking up during the night.

“I spend as much time as I can caring for and bonding with our baby, just not during the night when I’m sleeping.”

Redditors were largely understanding of this new father’s predicament and many related to the torture of not enough sleep that his wife was having to live with.

There was sympathy for her: “She might not be acting totally rational right now, but it’s great that he’s both offering solutions and being patient as she adjusts to this big life change.”

A suggestion from one comment: “I absolutely sympathize with your wife, I do. It’s SO hard in the beginning. Give her some grace – sleep deprivation is no joke and can totally change a person (temporarily). Is there maybe even one night a week you can help? An off-season where you can help a bit?”

Others were less sympathetic: “Now she doesn't like it and wants to back out instead of accepting the help. Nope, he's already made an extremely generous and accommodating offer to not being physically present at night.”

Finally, perhaps a bit of give on his part might help: "I get that it’s not what he agreed to, but if my spouse was in this level of misery I would want to help out. It’s so insane, I don’t think anything can really prepare you for it.”

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