How to get back in the mood for sex after giving birth – with DAILY masturbation & orgasm schedules, expert reveals

SEX after giving birth can be a touchy subject for couples, but expert Samia Burton believes it doesn’t have to be.

The creator of TheSexualEssentials.com says proper communication and a few top tips can completely change the experience for new mums.

She says: “It’s no secret that loss of libido, discomfort and pain after having a child is perfectly normal, but it is possible to get back into the swing of things with your partner with a few well-placed tips.”

Samia, 29, from St Louis, Missouri, is a sexpert and mom to a four-year-old son.

Her ultimate goal is to help people create the sex life that they wanted, by answering the questions they are too scared to ask. 

Here she shares her tips with Fabulous…

1. Masturbate even when you don’t feel ‘horny’

Generally when we don’t feel aroused, we don’t have sex with a partner. This is OK, but hormones change your sex drive, making it hard to get back in the mood for sex.

Trying to force sex with someone when the energy isn’t there won’t help, but starting with masturbation can remind the body of how good it feels and help get that energy flowing.

Self-sex is great for relaxation and stress relief too. It’s a much less awkward situation than trying to have sex with your partner when you truly don’t feel ready.

You and your partner could be even try mutual masturbation, to create that intimacy if you’re still not ready for sex.

2. Give yourself multiple orgasms

Many women complain about lack of lubrication after birth. But by giving yourself multiple orgasms, you’ll soon get things moving down there.

More orgasms will be needed to get the body back to the wetness that you may be used to.

3. Use kegel/Ben Wa balls

These are amazing for regaining strength and control in the walls, all of which helps with orgasming.

Immediately after pregnancy, orgasms can seem weaker so think of this like a gym session for your sex life.

4. Look in the mirror

Your body will look different, so getting comfortable and learning to love your new body is important.

The aim is to be turned on by what you see when you look in the mirror.

Change in our body can seem scary but remember it’s temporary, so try to embrace it.

It’s the result of something amazing and your ‘mom bod’ will soon be a distant memory.

5. Yoni massages

Whether alone or with a partner, this a very intimate and sexual act that removes the pressure of having to have sex, while allowing a lot of time for foreplay.

A tantric vagina massage, this practice allows couples to get comfortable with each other again – whether it ends in sex or not.

Some mums find it harder to get aroused because of their hormones, so this flow massage is a great way to ease yourself back in.

6. Masturbate EVERY day

Your body has muscle memory. Yes, you’ve been unable to climax for a while after delivering, but regular orgasms will retrain your body.

I advise a masturbation schedule, so you know when your self-loving is coming, with the anticipation helping to get your body in the mood.

Initially, it may take you 60 minutes to feel aroused, but daily masturbation will soon bring that time down.

Samia offers educational workshops for women who want to jump-start their sex lives, as well as virtual classes at thesexualessentials.com/our-classes.

Visit TheSexualEssentials.com or email Samia Burton at [email protected] to inquire about rates and booking availability. You can also follow her on Twitter @miabuggzy, Instagram @sexualessentials and Facebook @sessentials1. 

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