Raising a child is never easy, even for Keira Knightley.
The actress, who shares 3-year-old daughter Edie with husband James Righton, is opening up about how hard motherhood can be — despite her ability to afford childcare.
“I don’t think we give women enough credit for the physical and emotional marathon they go through when becoming a mother,” the Colette star, 33, says in a new interview with Balance magazine.
“I come from a place of amazing privilege. I have an incredible support system; I’ve been unbelievably lucky in my career; I can afford good childcare, and yet I still find it really f— difficult,” she says, before explaining that statement “doesn’t mean I don’t love my kid.”
“It’s okay to say that,” she adds. “It’s just me admitting that the sleep deprivation, the hormonal changes, the shift in relationship with my partner, are all things that make me feel as if I’m failing on a daily basis.”
The actress goes on to share with the magazine that she has “to remind myself that I haven’t failed, I’m just doing what I can do, but it’s not easy.”
Knightley has long been outspoken about the injustices women have to deal with, including the unrealistic expectations surrounding how new mothers are supposed to present themselves to the world.
In an essay titled “The Weaker Sex,” which appears in the collection Feminists Don’t Wear Pink (And Other Lies), the actress wrote about how women are supposed to always “look beautiful,” citing the public fascination with Kate Middleton‘s polished public appearances just hours after giving birth.
“We stand and watch the TV screen. [Kate] was out of hospital seven hours later with her face made up and high heels on. The face the world wants to see,” Knightley wrote, according to Refinery29.
She continued, “Hide. Hide our pain, our bodies splitting, our breasts leaking, our hormones raging. Look beautiful. Look stylish, don’t show your battleground, Kate. Seven hours after your fight with life and death, seven hours after your body breaks open, and bloody, screaming life comes out.”
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“Don’t show. Don’t tell. Stand there with your girl and be shot by a pack of male photographers,” she continued.
Knightley went on to clarify that she did not mean to slam Middleton, 37, but rather the fact that we live in a culture “that silences women’s truths and forces us all to hide.”
“I absolutely did not shame anybody in any way, in fact quite the opposite,” she said at the 2018 BFI London Film Festival in October, according to E! News.
Ever the proud mama, in an exclusive interview with People last October, Knightley raved about her daughter, calling her “phenomenal.”
“She’s great in every way,” the actress said. “She’s obviously a genius and obviously the best child in the entire world. And very well made. But yeah, I’m very lucky. She’s great. She’s totally great.”
Knightley went on to share that little Edie is totally unfazed by her mom’s career. “I think she just thinks that everybody’s mum is probably in pictures,” Knightley joked. “It doesn’t really strike her as anything weird.”
However, just because Knightley is a movie star doesn’t mean her daughter will follow in her footsteps. “She wanted to be a dentist, and now apparently she’s been to the zoo and wants to be a gorilla. So we’ll see,” Knightley remarked. “I’m hoping for a dentist. It might be a bit tricky if she wanted to be a gorilla when she grew up.”
This article originally appeared on People. For more stories like this, visit people.com.
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