Making the first move is hard. Even digitally, even after you’ve met them. It’s hard. You have to think about what to say, how you want to come across, and determine the point of it. Do you want to just chat with that person if you’re texting them? Do you want to solidify plans in the future? If you’re thinking about things to text when you just started dating, don’t worry. Many people can find themselves in this predicament. I know my friends and I often chat about what we’re saying to our latest crush, but sometimes you need a little kickstarter to get things flowing.
One time, I texted a guy I liked about the Anna Delvey story that was storming the internet. He read the story, we talked about our favorite moments of the article, how wild a ride it was, and we ended up getting complementary t-shirts to honor the legendary scammer. Even though we’re friends now, it’s something that we can reference and joke about all because I did send that text. So believe in yourself, sending that text can usually only benefit you, especially if you already have an established connection from a couple of dates. Read on for some text suggestions when you’re feeling a little bit stuck.
You could bring up a common interest.
A conversation-starter that serves as a good go-to when you’re just beginning to date someone is reference things that you have in common. If you’ve went out with the person already, and you share a favorite sports team (or a rivalry), a must-watch television series, or artistic preferences, consider sending one of the following:
- "Did you watch the new Riverdale episode because that #Choni scene is what I’m living for rn tbh."
- "So sorry your Spurs lost last night. I mean, not really… #LebronFTW."
- "New Warhol exhibit at The Whitney. You game?" (This is just asking them out again, but try it if you’re the bolder type!)
Or talk about the weather.
Yes, I know, this is typical small talk stuff. But if you’re going through some annoying weather, misery loves company, so you could use that to your advantage. This works whether you’re dating someone locally or long-distance.
- "Pleased to report I did not slip on any ice this morning on my way to work. But it was close."
- "Tell me you’re enjoying every bit of that FL sunshine while I’m battling this rain. It’ll help me get through this."
- "Snow day means WFH today, which means I don’t have to change out of my PJs."
Reference something from when you last saw them.
This may be the most ~risky~ in that you’re showing you’re listening and actually care about that person (I know, dangerous), but they’ll probably be touched from what you show you remembered from your date.
- "Tonight I wound up at that bar we went to last week and tried your go-to order. Not too bad."
- "OK fine you were right, watching The Good Place was actually like, completely necessary."
- "Can’t stop thinking about that pizza we had… I think we’ll have to go again soon. 🤷"
So now that you know what you’re going to say, there’s nothing left to do except send that text. You got this!
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