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Trevor Noah said he was excited to see that President Trump had thrown his support behind a massive criminal-justice reform bill currently making its way through Congress. But he said he was a bit suspicious about the timing: Democrats will take control of the House in January, giving them the power to issue subpoenas, and the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, is moving ahead decisively with his investigation into Russian election meddling.
“That’s good news! President Trump is supporting bipartisan criminal justice reform, just in time for his entire administration to be indicted by Robert Mueller. He’s up there like, ‘These criminals deserve a second term — I mean, a second chance!’” — TREVOR NOAH
….care how many lives the ruin. These are Angry People, including the highly conflicted Bob Mueller, who worked for Obama for 8 years. They won’t even look at all of the bad acts and crimes on the other side. A TOTAL WITCH HUNT LIKE NO OTHER IN AMERICAN HISTORY!
Meanwhile, Jimmy Kimmel slammed Trump for a pair of angry tweets that the president sent on Thursday attacking Mueller.
“He always forgets we had real witch hunts in American history, in which they killed witches. But this is the biggest witch hunt — and Bob Mueller is movin’ on you like a witch, my friend.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
West and Zuckerberg
Both Kanye West and Mark Zuckerberg have been in need of some positive press lately. West recently forswore making political statements recently, and a New York Times investigation published on Wednesday showed that Facebook, which Zuckerberg founded, has not always been forthright about the amount that its platform was being used by hidden forces to influence elections and spread hate speech.
West and Zuckerberg took it upon themselves to create a positive photo-op on Wednesday, when West tweeted a picture of the two singing karaoke.
“Kanye West says he did karaoke with Facebook C.E.O. Mark Zuckerberg, and they sang the Backstreet Boys song ‘I Want It That Way.” When Trump saw Kanye hanging out with someone else, he was like, ‘Quit Playing Games With My Heart.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Is it possible that Kanye is now done with Donald Trump and on to an even wealthier supervillain?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (French-Wine Edition)
“It is the first day of snow here in the Northeast, but did it stop these people? No! Neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night — these people are like the Postal Service! In that Donald Trump wishes they both of them didn’t exist.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, saluting his audience at the top of “The Late Show”
“Trump wants to raise tariffs on French wine, but since his son Eric runs an American winery, it could be a conflict of interest. Then Trump said, ‘That’s crazy. I have no interest in my son Eric.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“It just came out that Trump mocks Fox News host Sean Hannity behind his back for being a suck-up. When he heard that, Hannity was like, ‘Wow, that’s such a smart observation, Mr. President! It’s really amazing!’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Here’s a very jaded Jaboukie Young-White on Amazon’s arrival in New York City: “It’s cliché. Amazon’s been around for 24 years and now they’re doing what any 24-year-old does. What? Move to New York and gentrify a neighborhood! You know, they could have at least spent a year teaching English in Bangladesh.”
Seth Meyers took a deep dive into the present causes of Trump’s frustration.
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Plus, Ideas for What to Watch Tonight:
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