Breaking up is hard to do. Breaking up during the holiday season? Well, that’s a different beast altogether, says Mayim Bialik, who is weathering a split during the most cheerful time of year.
Over Thanksgiving, Bialik revealed that she and her boyfriend (she has never revealed his identity) split. And on Tuesday, she opened up further about the breakup in a vulnerable post on her women’s lifestyle blog, Grok Nation.
“You won’t get to know all of the details, and it won’t be featured on the cover (or even in the pages of) a tabloid magazine,” Bialik wrote. “My love story is nothing particularly exceptional. I mean, he was — er, is. I was an exceptional iteration of myself with him. For five years in fact. And now it’s over.”
Although she doesn’t get too specific, Bialik implies that the breakup was more his choice than hers, and she is trying to come to terms with that. “If ever there was a story that should have ended not like this, I feel this might be it. But he has his own will and much as I wish I could control his will, I cannot. And so here we are,” she explained.
But here, as bad fortune would have it, is smack dab in the middle of the merriest time of year.
Lamented Bialik, “There is rarely good timing for a breakup. But most certainly, the worst time is now. In case he is reading this, I’m just meh with this timing. Because say what you will, the holidays are a time to not be recently broken up.”
Bialik points to plenty of reasons for this statement. For starters, “The air is full of clarity and possibility.” People are friendlier, she says, and “cheer abounds.” In other words, everything is antithetical to how one feels mid-breakup.
Plus, there are all of those pesky end-of-year jewelry promotions featuring happy people getting down on one knee to pop the question — “And I would be lying if I said it didn’t enter my mind that this holiday season might hold a promise of a secure future for me,” Bialik admitted.
As it’s said, though, this too shall pass. Bialik knows that better than most because she actually already endured a breakup with her boyfriend once before.
While offering readers in similar circumstances advice on how to get through the holiday season with a broken heart, she lets slip that one of her tips was born out of necessity.
“When we broke up the last time (two years ago), I listened to SO MUCH ADELE that my children would weep when they heard the music blaring; but not from sadness, from misery at hearing Adele AGAIN,” she said.
So, Bialik did what any rational person would do: she placed a moratorium on any sad music.
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I had taken a little break from social media the past 5 days or so. I was away and I just read the book #timetoparent and it inspired me. I just scrolled through images of awards shows I wish I was invited to, bodies I will never have, and magazine covers I’ll never be on the cover of, and I remembered why I needed the break. I do, however, have this guy who missed me terribly while I was away. 🐈 And that’s something to celebrate.
Other suggestions for coping that Bialik offers include releasing feel-good endorphins through exercise, letting yourself have a good cry, knowing your limits and finding perspective — which is precisely where Bialik is at this point.
“As for me, I’ve got half a bottle of Manischewitz, four cats, and a wicked puzzle waiting for me,” she reassured her readers. “And for now, I am grateful in my tears and in my sadness for small blessings. They abound even now.”
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