Jessica Simpson to Natalie Portman: Stop Slut-Shaming Me!

Here’s an unexpected blast-from-the-past feud that’s sure to delight all you ’90s kids.

Or it’s a very serious matter that speaks to the delicate issues of these divisive times. This is kind of a “choose your own adventure” story in that way.

Natalie Portman and Jessica Simpson are still A-listers, but in 1999, they were two of the biggest names on the planet.

And it seems that their careers and public images were headed in divergent directions even way back then.

Natalie gave an interview to USA Today this week as part of her promotional tour for her upcoming film Vox Lux.

The movie is about a teen who unexpectedly becomes a pop star, so perhaps it should come as no surprise that Natalie remarked on one of the biggest pop stars from her own teen years:

“I remember being a teenager, and there was Jessica Simpson on the cover of a magazine saying ‘I’m a virgin’ while wearing a bikini, and I was confused,” she told the newspaper.

“Like, I don’t know what this is trying to tell me as a woman, as a girl.”

It was an odd (though not necessarily offensive) remark, and Jessica was quick to clap back:

“@Natalieportman I was disappointed this morning when I read that I ‘confused’ you by wearing a bikini in a published photo taken of me when I was still a virgin in 1999,” Simpson wrote on Instagram. 

“As public figures, we both know our image is not totally in our control at all times, and that the industry we work in often tries to def8ine us and box us in,” she added.

“However, I was taught myself, and honor the different ways all women express themselves,” she said.

“Which is why I believed then, and believe now, that being sexy in a bikini is not synonymous with having sex.”

“I have always embraced being a role model to all women to let them know that they can look however they want, wear whatever they want and have sex or not have sex with whomever they want.

“The power lies within us as individuals.”

Simpson concluded with a not-so-subtle allegation that Natalie is a hypocrite for making such comments despite her high-profile involvement with the Time’s Up movement.

“I have made it my practice to not shame other women for their choices,” Simpson posted.

“In this era of Times Up and the great work you have done for women, I encourage you to do the same.”

Yeah, as much as we love Natalie, and as much as she may have intended no harm, we’re afraid Ms. Portman is gonna have to go ahead and take the L on this one.

Jessica was a sex symbol in the late ’90s, a time in which young female pop stars were encouraged to dress and dance provocatively, all while insisting on their chastity and purity in interviews.

It was a gross trend, but Jessica certainly wasn’t to blame for it, and she shouldn’t be forced to answer for it 20 years later.

As a result of this misstep, Natalie will be forced to surrender half of her woke points and attend compulsory classes at the Lena Dunham Institute for Re-Wokening.

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